As I previously told you, this past weekend I was given the supreme honor of teaching a retreat for the girls at Grace Church Northwest Arkansas. The flight out was pretty uneventful which is precisely how I like them.

When I arrived at XNA in Arkansas, I immediately recognized my ride when I saw a car full of adorable girls pulling up to the curb. Seriously. Could anything be more fun than being picked up by a vehicle full of smiling, waving, happy-to-see you people with great hair? I jumped in with no hesitation whatsoever. My introvert of a hubby thinks I am totally insane to enjoy such a thing so much. I truly look at a group of women I've never met as fresh meat who've not yet had the opportunity to grow sick of my talking, talking, talking. It doesn't hurt my feelings one bit if you agree that I am best served up in small doses. I promise you I get on my own nerves way more than I could ever get on yours.

And at this point, you are probably thinking that's debatable.

Okay, so let's get to the point. We traveled to The New Life Ranch which is located in Colcord, Oklahoma. The Center was beautifully situated on a lake or river or something. I just know it was water and it was pretty. There was another women's group there who were easy to spot since they were wearing princess crowns. They looked like they were having a ball. There was also a mother/daughter retreat taking place and can I just say those moms have lots more faith in their girls than I do mine? At one point they played a game of some sort where the moms wore blindfolds and the girls led them around. My Girl would have promptly pushed me in that pretty river/lake/creek. I know this because she has been well trained by the boy people in her life. Let's just say I was completely happy to be a part of the non-crown-blindfold-wearing crowd.

This is where I get to brag on the entirety of the Grace Girl group. Y'all, I didn't know a single one of these women going in except for Teresa from The Grace Incubator. (And even she was an Imaginary Friend I'd never met in real life.) Oh my goodness, these girls absolutely embraced me and treated me like a princess - crown or not. No wonder this is such an exciting time in the life of their church. If you girls love your newcomers like you loved this one, you'll be packing out that new, big building in no time flat. And to all the Elder Wives, it was a delight to spend time with you and see the love you have for your people. I soaked in every second of it!

We had our first worship/teaching session Friday night and afterward were told that we could go on a hayride in a modified school bus. By modified, I mean that the cab of the bus was intact but the top had been cut away from the back, seats removed, and filled with hay. It was pretty chilly but I'm not a girl who likes to miss the fun, so I jumped in.

Let's just say this wasn't your typical meandering hayride.

Ours was more in the vein of this Nightmare on Elm Street bus scene from about minute 2:50 to 3:50. (There's no cussin' or killin' in this clip, I promise.) I don't even remember our "tour guide's" name, but he'll always be Freddy to me because, y'all, he never went below 35 miles an hour on a rutted, wooded road that was clearly not intended for such travel. I handled the speed thing pretty well. It was the 45 degree tilt that got me a little terrified. {I should clarify here. It was fun in a riding-a-rollercoaster-that-horrifies-you kind of way. I've never laughed so hard in my life. Laughing = Fun.}

Just as we were back to our cabins, just when I was prepared to jump out and kiss the sweet pavement beneath my feet, Freddy sped up and we went for round two - I believe at the suggestion of those crazy girls who are made of stronger stuff than I.

Round One was just a warm up.

We bounced and tilted and whirled and I begged Jesus, begged Him, to understand that it was not I who had tempted Him. That it was not I who had asked to try His ministering angels. I pleaded that for the sake of the husband and children, could he please, please, save them from having to declare on my headstone that I'd been killed in a chopped-off school bus on a backroad in Oklahoma. It's just not the legacy I'd intended.

Here lies Lisa,
She loved Jesus,
but the school bus flipped,
and she rests in pieces.


Thankfully, that was not my fate and I'm now safely home. I'm not going to say that I would do the hayride from Hades again anytime soon any more than my chicken self is looking forward to riding the Superman at Six Flags, but it was definitely a memory-maker as was the rest of my time with Grace Church.

Girls, THANK YOU. What a gift to experience pure, authentic worship with you (You rocked, Jordan!). What a privilege to almost die with you? But most of all, I am grateful to now call you real life, real LIVE, friends. :)

With Much Love!

So maybe it's more like a crop duster than a jet but this morning, I'm flying out to Oklahoma to teach a retreat to a darlin' bunch of girls from Grace Church of NW Arkansas. (They are on the border of Arkansas/Oklahoma hence all the state-hopping.)

I wanted to tell you more leading up but I'm just flat out of time so I'll try to share some pics when I get back. I covet your prayers. First that the Lord would cleanse my heart and my prone-to-wander mouth. But mostly I pray for these girls. None of us ever goes on a journey such as this without expecting to hear a specific word from God. Satan has long tried to keep me focused on my own abilities (or lack thereof) guaranteeing a roller coaster of emotions on my part if I feel I didn't say the right thing. (It normally comes in the form of calling myself all manner of idiot when I'm done.) BUT, God has done a hard-fought, transforming work to bring me to a place of full confidence in HIS ability to use stammering lips coupled with His Word to change hearts. So, if I ramble, may it be in scripture and not stupidity. And, Dear Jesus, above all may you be glorified and may we all be changed. (Hi Grace Girls! Aren't you so glad you've asked me to come? :)


Okay, gotta run. Thank you so much for your encouragement and support. I love you all, Homies and Non-Homies alike. :)

Y'all.

I had this whole stinkin' post typed out and blogger ate it. I'm so upset right now but I'm going to soldier through it again. You can be thankful because I'll most likely leave out at least half the words in my aggravation of having to do a repeat.

You're welcome.

I think I began the other post by explaining how, after a weekend of teaching, I am so sick of my own voice that I try my best not to speak much for a couple of days. With that said, other than suggesting to the children they may want to keep the noise level to a healthy roar on teacher in service Monday, I've been relishing the quiet and enjoying all the not talking.

A few of you have asked questions about the logistics of our retreat. I'll try to give you some info and finish a recap in a handy, dandy list format:

1. We began our retreats in our current church four years ago with less than twenty women attending. We rented a cabin at, where else, Eagles Ridge and conducted our Bible study in the great room. We cooked one common meal in the kitchen but mostly ate in restaurants together for the others.

This year we took close to 90 women which is huge for my teeny tiny town. I hear the size of our Exodus was a hot topic of conversation at the grocery store and gas station. Since our group has grown so, we are now renting 6 large cabins and have moved our Bible study to the facility club house. Because we obviously can't eat out together, we decided to offer meals as part of the program. My wonderful mom-in-law Frankie, my precious friend Kaye, and my bff forever Kelly provided the catering. They not only agreed to do our event, but actually enjoy cooking. Can you even imagine? Thanks again to all three of you. Your joyful act of service took our fellowship to an entirely new level.

Don't y'all love their matching aprons?

2. We have four study sessions beginning Friday night. We then meet Saturday morning, Saturday night, and Sunday morning. {Don't start raggin' on me about the Sunday thing. I'm very conflicted about it but as it is, there is a two day weekend minimum stay and if we don't use it we lose it. It being one day a year, the stewardship issue, and our own Sunday morning worship teamed with the blessing of the pastor dictate we stay until Sunday - at least for now.} We have our meal first, then worship in song, followed by the teaching segment.

Saturday is a free day between morning and night sessions in which most girls go shopping. I normally head towards Five Oaks Outlet Mall. However, this year the wonderful, darlin' girls in our group took up a love collection and gave Jenny (worship leader) and me a trip to Gatlinburg Day Spa. I've never been in my life until Valentine's Day and now twice in two months! What?! It's hard to say which spa I enjoyed more but let me tell you, the heated massage table at GDS is an extravagance I never dreamed existed. I didn't think I would be able to drag myself off it.

I have to tell you I was incredibly overwhelmed while sitting in the quiet room overlooking the beautiful mountains. All I could think was, "Who am I that God would allow such a flaky, unqualified girl to first presume to teach His Word and then orchestrate a back rub afterward?" It was more than I could take in. We are some spoiled rotten women in the west and I never want to take such pampering for granted. I am humbled, I do not deserve this outlandish grace, but I gratefully receive it in the love it was given. Girls, thank you, thank you, thank you!

3. Saturday night's session was followed by an after party in which we were entertained by the lyrical stylings of Brooke and Kim aka The Queens of Karaoke. I can't even do it justice so you should really go here and check out the performance on your own.

4. I was so pumped that my sister, Christi, was able to come along with me. Her hubby just took his first pastorate so we are officially sister PW's!

You have to know mine and Christi's relationship to understand that we love each other through sarcasm, i.e., if she makes fun of me then I know that's a compliment - I think. She told me something I said Sunday morning that is probably the most theologically thought-provoking thing I've ever uttered. She tells it better than I ever could here. By the way, y'all really have to read her blog, Just Curious. She is funnier on accident than I've ever hoped to be on purpose.

5. The Gang's all here! Or most of it anyway. This picture makes me smile really, really big. There were women on the retreat ranging from ages 12 through 79. There is no other name but Jesus by which such a diverse group can have such commonality! I love each and every one of you and can not wait til next year!

P.S. I lied about the words.

P.S.S. Spectacular Sins will resume next Monday. Mine and Missy's brains are fried.

Where do I even begin?

Our church has just concluded our annual retreat and I lack sufficient words to tell you the spiritual refreshment I feel in spite of my physical exhaustion. I feel a multi-post recap coming on so I'll begin at the beginning.

We traveled to Pigeon Forge, TN and stayed at Eagles Ridge Resorts. Y'all, I have to take a moment to give a shout out to this place. Eagles Ridge is a cabin community located in the heart of everything fun you could possibly want to do during a getaway. We took almost 90 women so we rented multiple cabins and used the facility clubhouse for our meals and bible study sessions. I have stayed here many, many times for different retreats/family vacations, etc. and every experience has been fantastic. Josh is one of the managers and has taken excellent care of our group once again. I'm telling you, if you are looking for a retreat center in the Southeast, you would do well to inquire here. Tell Josh I sent you. :)

Anyway, we went to Pigeon Forge Thursday night and when we got up Friday decided to fore go shopping for something a little more memorable - snow tubing at Ober Gatlinburg!!

Oh my word, my tail still hurts!

You can see the slopes here. I currently only have one photo of the entire day (because I'm waiting to steal everyone else's who watched and took our pictures) but maybe you can tell by the goofy look on my face that it was just a little bit exhilarating to fly down a huge slope with nothing but a piece of plastic between your rear end and certain doom. Even my hair had a great time.



Just a little word of caution from an anonymous source: If you are bladder challenged then extra protection may be in order.



My girls are hysterically, wonderfully full of awesomeness.

There's more to say, more to tell, more things NOT to tell {Who am I kidding? I'm a blabber mouth!} but for now I am going to go play with my kiddos who are out of school today. I'll be back when all the pictures start popping up online.

I mostly want to tell all you girls who attended how much I adored spending this time with you. I LOVE you all...no 'buts' about it. :)

Hi! My name is Lisa and I'm having a fabulous day. Et tu?

A few weeks back my awesome sis-in-law Laura Beth asked me to talk about marriage at her MOM's group at Peavine Baptist in Georgia. I drove down this morning and !YAY! I just had the best time ever. In addition to meeting all these new girls I got to catch up with one of my long, lost ballfield bff's, Jennifer who is as crazy now as when our boys shared the baseball diamond a few summers back. What else can I say but that reconnection makes me giddy.

I don't know that I can properly express how much I love meeting a new group of women and seeing how other churches 'do' ministry. I can tell you right now, Peavine is doing mommy ministry well. I fell instantly in love with their leader, Tonya. She is definitely a homechick (my new favorite girlfriend word coined by Lindsee Lou). Tonya's family relocated to N. Georgia from Mississippi after Katrina. Best I can tell, she's settled in and brought her some Jesus along. I am always smitten with lay people who pour themselves out with abandon for no other benefit than to see others encouraged and lives changed. I didn't get a chance to visit with many of the mommies because they needed to run to a different part of the building to get their kids from childcare, but if you have come by for a visit and were there this morning, THANK YOU! I hope to have the chance to drop in on you again soon and in the meantime please come see me here from time to time.

After MOMs, Laura Beth, Frankie(my Mom In Law), Micah (my 2 yr old nephew), and I had lunch at one of my favorite home cookin' restaurants that I've missed terribly since we moved away. The food was scrumptious as always but the best part was the prayer. LB said, "Micah, do you want to say the blessing?" He said he did so we waited. Micah bowed his head, closed his darlin' little eyes and said, "Blessing." And that was it! Hysterical! I've always said you should never catch up on your prayer life at the dinner table and my boy has heeded that advice, I reckon!

And if my day had ended right then things would have been okay. Instead, I came home and Luke was waiting for me with a scary looking piece of paper.

It was a job application.

For me.

How's that for some Valentine romance?

There may or may not be more to share about that at a later date.

Speaking of later dates, LOST! OH MY GOODNESS! I just finished watching last night's episode and thank you, thank you very much, I knew Jin was alive! And as soon as Charlotte read the French on the wreckage, I knew they would see Rousseau. And I knew that Ben was behind freaking Kate out about Aaron. Can it be we are getting a bit predictable, Lost writers?

As if.

Here are a few questions I have:

1. Why didn't Roussea recognize Jin or vice versa when they met one another later on the island? Shouldn't she remember meeting him on the beach and him likewise?

2. The nosebleeds....Didn't Daniel stop that for Desmond by having him contact Penny - his Constant? Can't Juliette, Charlotte, and now Miles do that somehow or does it have to be someone off the island they connect with?

3. Richard has the most awesome eyelashes. Is he born with it or is it Maybelline?

4.. I'm stuck on thinking the young girl holding the gun on Daniel in last week's episode is either Penny's mother or Charlotte's mother. Remember how Daniel told her she seemed familiar? What do y'all think?

5. Sawyer is pitiful. Wouldn't it be nice if Kate could be in both places at once and Sawyer could have Island Kate and Jack could keep Off-Island Kate? I'm not sure it's biblical but it would make for an excellent episode or seven.

I have no idea how I started out talking about marriage with Jesus Girls and ending up hoping a woman can time-travel herself between two men. I'm surely hoping y'all can forgive my flakiness because I really and truly am not as schizo in person as I seem on the computer screen.

Lisa says to tell you she'll talk with you again soon.

For those of you in my area, (you know who you are, my Homies!), here is the official flyer for our annual women's retreat taking place March 13-14th in Pigeon Forge, TN.

My church girls are sneaky little varmints.

We planned for a few weeks to do something special for our friend, Farrah , who is having a baby in November. Jenny, our fearless leader put together a surprise shower/dinner out in which we would bring her a stack of baby gifts (Girl gifts no less. So much more fun to buy for!). I've been looking forward to a good GNO for a while now so to say I've been a little excited is an understatement.

After we showered Farrah, Jenny sprang a little surprise I in no wise anticipated. They gave me a PW Appreciation complete with precious cards and gifts. I thought I was there to surprise Farrah. She thought she was there to surprise me. And we both got punk'd but in the totally good way where we walk away with cool stuff.

To my girls: Y'all have no idea how much you blessed me. I've said it over and over - you love your pastor and his family well. The fact that you want to spend time with us outside of the church, the crazy way you love on our kids, that you pray for us and then tell us that you do, the way you provide for all our needs, and especially the way you roll our yard five times are just a few of the ways you put hands to what your heart is feeling. I say that is what your heart feels. I know no other reason you would be so extravagant with us. Thank you doesn't cover it but I say it anyway. And yes, we love you with our whole heart.

In the spirit of Pastor Appreciation month, I would love to hear from both PW's and lay people. PW's: What things are your parishioners doing for you to bless you this month? What has really stood out? Laypeople: Give one another some ideas of ways you are honoring your pastoral staff. How do you know they love you back?

A couple of pics from tonight that do not do justice to how much we laughed.




















Holly, Farrah, Katie, Me, The Girl, and Jenny. Girl was obviously past her bedtime.






















Donna, sweet Bailey, Cheryl, and Debbie. They set the standard of how good, Christian women should act when out in public.

At least that is what they want you to think....hmmmmmm??




















Michealle, Tammy, Deb, Brooke, and Wendy. Can you just see the mischief in their eyes? For those of you who know Brooke, well, let's just say she was game on. Poor baby had a wreck just a couple of hours before we went out which provided for some excellent comedic material. Except, entering the competition now is Michealle. I can't decide who makes my face hurt from laughing the most.


And a fun time was had by all. And no one even complained about my tendency to hug the shoulder of the road while driving the church bus.

Not much anyway.

Thanks again, girls! I love you!

As promised, here are a few of our banquet pictures. Our little fellowship building transforms quite attractively but I'm not lying when I say I CAN NOT WAIT until we begin our Life Center. We are totally out of room for partying and that will just not do.

The Buffet set up by our dear friend, Darlene. This girl has got the decorating skillz.

Keena, Wendy, Anita, Farrah, Holly, and Shannon. I don't know if I can keep up with knowing every one's name but so far, I'm 6 for 6!

April - that makes 7.

Tammy, Karri, Me, Kathy, and Lisa - our honored guest and speaker. Girlfriend brought it on being a cracked pot. Thanks for a great message, my friend.

Pay attention to the girl in the black sweater vest. She is here.

She is here.

She is here. No one can work a room like Jenny. Must be the politics in her DNA.

Beautiful room. Beautiful Girls.

Check out a few more of the tables. I don't think I got a shot of every one's because my camera batteries went dead. Imagine that.




I love fall decorations! Absolutely my favorite. Makes me think it's almost time for...

Karri's table was the unexpected. She said she wanted to do fall but with a twist. She spray painted foam pumpkins greens and purples and hand-dyed her napkins to match. Are you kiddin' me? It is jaw-dropping what this girl can do with a glue gun.

Love the purple and yellow...

Deedra's mac daddy table. Her pumpkins were my favorite. Again, they were foam. I had no idea such a thing existed or that one could do so many things with them. If I had a creative bone in my body, I would tell you the possibilities are endless. As it is, I can't think of one more thing I would do with them than what these girls already have. Do y'all have any ideas?

More fall...I'm loving the orange in Cindy's table. Her dishes were completely awesome and somehow I didn't get a picture of them. They were orange with white stripes across them. So cool.

That's our shindig for this year! What kinds of things do you girls do for your women's events? I always love some fresh ideas....

Hey Boys and Girls!

(Yes, I know there are boys out there....)

I need some help. I have a dvd with a slide presentation from our women's ministry trip. I'm trying to figure out how I can get the content onto GodTube. Anyone know why it keeps telling me on the upload that it isn't in a supported file type? Anyone know how I can get it to be a supported file type?

Would appreciate any help from my techno-savvy friends out there! :)

I can not even begin to tell you how completely thrilled I am over the registration for our church's womens' retreat this year. 48 women have decided they are ready to Get Over It!


Did I mention there were 48 of us? As in almost half of 100. In Roman there are L. In Greek there are. Oh yes, girls. I am internationally happy about the 50. Considering this is roughly half of our town's population, I imagine the grocery store and four-way stop will be significantly quieter once the last husband's wallet has been plundered and we head on our way.

Obviously I can't wait for the time together in God's Word. There is nothing more powerful than a group of women who set apart a weekend to meet with the highly exalted Living One. My prayer is that we will look into the mirror of scripture and not walk away still looking a wreck. Oh yes, we have some primping to do, spiritually and physically speaking.

That primping will not be hard to accomplish as we break open this while we relax here. And eat here. And shop here. And take a break here before we return here.

I am positively giddy about this whole trip and just had to go ahead and release some of my squeals before my head popped off.

In other news, I have to share with you that I told my friend Brooke via text this morning that I dreamed about my dog Daisy last night. In this dream, there was a lion in my yard and Daisy and the lion were fighting over a piece of steak. I kept yelling to her, "Daisy, it's a LION honey! You can't win. Let him have it! But she kept fighting and fighting until eventually the lion killed her.

Depressing, huh?

Now I'll really freak you out.

Tonight I told the kids to go feed the dog and one of the boys who shall remain nameless asked, "Did you buy her more food yet?" To which I replied, loudly and with concern, "NO one told me she was out of food?!"

"Oh, ummm, we thought we told you."

Well they didn't and after further investigation, I discovered the dog has not eaten in 2 1/2 days. 2 1/2 whole stinkin' days!! We jumped in the car to run to the store and buy some food. I'm ashamed to say I blew it with the kids by yelling about giving the dog away for the trip there and back. (And any comments about our pet neglect are not welcome here. It was an honest mistake, thankyouverymuch.) With all that said, there were three repentant boys in the backyard tonight petting the hound out of the hound dog. I think she's hoping they starve her more often for all the attention she got in return.

But, back to my dream. Do y'all think it was prophetic? Do you think God was trying to tell me Daisy was hungry enough to fight a steak from a lion and I just wasn't listening? (I'm kiddin' y'all. I've a ways to go before I dye my hair purple and buy myself a golden throne.) But seriously, that's freaky isn't it?

And considering how my dreams are increasingly getting weirder, I can't decide if I need to sleep less or more.

Tonight I vote for more.

Goodnite!

I just got home a while ago from the retreat with Lisa's girls and all I can say is 'Wow'.

I will never get over that through the fabulosity of the world wide web I was able to find a girlfriend who is eerily living a parallel life to mine. We have so much in common it's just scary - but in a good way. We both have four kids, love Bible Study, hate fresh tomatoes but love salsa, have the same musical taste...the list goes on. I am so grateful God ordained our paths to cross for I know I've found a friend forever. (Cue Renaldo from AI...Rats, I can't get that song out of my head!)

And the rest of the women? DOLLS - every single one of you! It's only in Jesus that I would have the courage to spend the night with a group I've never met and yet come away feeling I have known you forever. I hope the feeling was mutual! Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me the privilege of serving you this weekend. And now that I know a few of you come around here sometimes, I'd better start seeing some comments! :) Especially you, Ms. Pastor's Wife Amy with the mad fire-building skillz. I LOVE meeting ministry wives and I had a great time laughing with you! And you, Leslie, my fellow mommy blogger. I can't wait for pictures when the baby boom hits you two girls!

I also have to give kudos to my hubby who kept the house clean while I was gone. Typically, when the mom is away, the kiddos do tear the house down to the studs so it was quite refreshing to come home and find all as it should be. Luke is the most excellent dad and never begrudges my being gone and for this I will always be grateful. One of his peeves is for dads to talk about 'babysitting' their kids if the wife is gone. My favorite rant of his? "They are YOUR kids, too! You don't BABYSIT your own kids".

Oh how I love that man-o-mine.

There's nothing more awesome than a great Girl Weekend but I also have to admit I'm always glad to get back to the fam. And apparently they are happy I'm home too if the amount of times the boys have sat on me and pooted is any indication. Be it ever so humble, there's no smell like home.

However, and thankfully, The Girl has a different way of expressing how lost she was without me. I asked her if she missed me while I was gone and she said, "I kinda forgot you weren't here."

Family Circle called. They want to give me the "Mom of the Year" Award.

So anyhooty, I'm going to get in here and reconnect with my family and reintroduce myself to my daughter who forgot her mother in 24 hours flat.

Impact, people. We should all have so much.


I'm off....Have a rich Lord's Day!

I finally have what few photos I was able to take at our Women's Banquet loaded! Typical of me, my camera battery was almost dead when I arrived so I wasn't able to get as many photos as I would have liked. I mainly wanted to show you the amazing tables the girls came up with yet again this year.

Our Spring Banquet is an annual event for which women volunteer to be Table Hostesses. They are responsible for decorating their own table any way they like. Some use their personal china, some go whacko and buy dishes :), but one thing you can count on is that they are all as different as the personalities that put them together! I can not tell you how fun it is to come in and see what each woman has created.

I shared with the girls when we moved to the sanctuary for my preaching :) that looking at what each one does with a white table cloth as a base just screams of the creative work of God. I imagine Him at Creation with a blank canvas delighting in all the different 'themes' He could dream up...He could have made our world all beach or all desert. All mountains or all icebergs. But, instead He is a God of variety and I love that about Him. Knowing He continued that creative work in each of us should convince us even more that we are beloved in His sight. He has yet to make anything He did not call Good!

On a lighter note, don't we girls know how to throw a part-ay? Now our men get together and eat "wild game" and "barbeque" on paper plates with their fingers. Not us honey. We drag out the fine china, dine on grilled chicken and pasta salad (with forks on the proper side of our plate I might add), and enjoy our little fancy schmancy selves while we do it. A girl needs a little refinement in her life. Heaven knows I don't get it at home when my kids are throwing green beans at me from across the dinner table. Oh yeah, I needed this night out.

For those of you who attended, I hope you enjoyed this night 1/4th as much as I did cause that means you had yourselves an awesome evening...Thank you again for all you did to make the night so very special..

I love you girls!!

:)