Y'all.

I had this whole stinkin' post typed out and blogger ate it. I'm so upset right now but I'm going to soldier through it again. You can be thankful because I'll most likely leave out at least half the words in my aggravation of having to do a repeat.

You're welcome.

I think I began the other post by explaining how, after a weekend of teaching, I am so sick of my own voice that I try my best not to speak much for a couple of days. With that said, other than suggesting to the children they may want to keep the noise level to a healthy roar on teacher in service Monday, I've been relishing the quiet and enjoying all the not talking.

A few of you have asked questions about the logistics of our retreat. I'll try to give you some info and finish a recap in a handy, dandy list format:

1. We began our retreats in our current church four years ago with less than twenty women attending. We rented a cabin at, where else, Eagles Ridge and conducted our Bible study in the great room. We cooked one common meal in the kitchen but mostly ate in restaurants together for the others.

This year we took close to 90 women which is huge for my teeny tiny town. I hear the size of our Exodus was a hot topic of conversation at the grocery store and gas station. Since our group has grown so, we are now renting 6 large cabins and have moved our Bible study to the facility club house. Because we obviously can't eat out together, we decided to offer meals as part of the program. My wonderful mom-in-law Frankie, my precious friend Kaye, and my bff forever Kelly provided the catering. They not only agreed to do our event, but actually enjoy cooking. Can you even imagine? Thanks again to all three of you. Your joyful act of service took our fellowship to an entirely new level.

Don't y'all love their matching aprons?

2. We have four study sessions beginning Friday night. We then meet Saturday morning, Saturday night, and Sunday morning. {Don't start raggin' on me about the Sunday thing. I'm very conflicted about it but as it is, there is a two day weekend minimum stay and if we don't use it we lose it. It being one day a year, the stewardship issue, and our own Sunday morning worship teamed with the blessing of the pastor dictate we stay until Sunday - at least for now.} We have our meal first, then worship in song, followed by the teaching segment.

Saturday is a free day between morning and night sessions in which most girls go shopping. I normally head towards Five Oaks Outlet Mall. However, this year the wonderful, darlin' girls in our group took up a love collection and gave Jenny (worship leader) and me a trip to Gatlinburg Day Spa. I've never been in my life until Valentine's Day and now twice in two months! What?! It's hard to say which spa I enjoyed more but let me tell you, the heated massage table at GDS is an extravagance I never dreamed existed. I didn't think I would be able to drag myself off it.

I have to tell you I was incredibly overwhelmed while sitting in the quiet room overlooking the beautiful mountains. All I could think was, "Who am I that God would allow such a flaky, unqualified girl to first presume to teach His Word and then orchestrate a back rub afterward?" It was more than I could take in. We are some spoiled rotten women in the west and I never want to take such pampering for granted. I am humbled, I do not deserve this outlandish grace, but I gratefully receive it in the love it was given. Girls, thank you, thank you, thank you!

3. Saturday night's session was followed by an after party in which we were entertained by the lyrical stylings of Brooke and Kim aka The Queens of Karaoke. I can't even do it justice so you should really go here and check out the performance on your own.

4. I was so pumped that my sister, Christi, was able to come along with me. Her hubby just took his first pastorate so we are officially sister PW's!

You have to know mine and Christi's relationship to understand that we love each other through sarcasm, i.e., if she makes fun of me then I know that's a compliment - I think. She told me something I said Sunday morning that is probably the most theologically thought-provoking thing I've ever uttered. She tells it better than I ever could here. By the way, y'all really have to read her blog, Just Curious. She is funnier on accident than I've ever hoped to be on purpose.

5. The Gang's all here! Or most of it anyway. This picture makes me smile really, really big. There were women on the retreat ranging from ages 12 through 79. There is no other name but Jesus by which such a diverse group can have such commonality! I love each and every one of you and can not wait til next year!

P.S. I lied about the words.

P.S.S. Spectacular Sins will resume next Monday. Mine and Missy's brains are fried.

Where do I even begin?

Our church has just concluded our annual retreat and I lack sufficient words to tell you the spiritual refreshment I feel in spite of my physical exhaustion. I feel a multi-post recap coming on so I'll begin at the beginning.

We traveled to Pigeon Forge, TN and stayed at Eagles Ridge Resorts. Y'all, I have to take a moment to give a shout out to this place. Eagles Ridge is a cabin community located in the heart of everything fun you could possibly want to do during a getaway. We took almost 90 women so we rented multiple cabins and used the facility clubhouse for our meals and bible study sessions. I have stayed here many, many times for different retreats/family vacations, etc. and every experience has been fantastic. Josh is one of the managers and has taken excellent care of our group once again. I'm telling you, if you are looking for a retreat center in the Southeast, you would do well to inquire here. Tell Josh I sent you. :)

Anyway, we went to Pigeon Forge Thursday night and when we got up Friday decided to fore go shopping for something a little more memorable - snow tubing at Ober Gatlinburg!!

Oh my word, my tail still hurts!

You can see the slopes here. I currently only have one photo of the entire day (because I'm waiting to steal everyone else's who watched and took our pictures) but maybe you can tell by the goofy look on my face that it was just a little bit exhilarating to fly down a huge slope with nothing but a piece of plastic between your rear end and certain doom. Even my hair had a great time.



Just a little word of caution from an anonymous source: If you are bladder challenged then extra protection may be in order.



My girls are hysterically, wonderfully full of awesomeness.

There's more to say, more to tell, more things NOT to tell {Who am I kidding? I'm a blabber mouth!} but for now I am going to go play with my kiddos who are out of school today. I'll be back when all the pictures start popping up online.

I mostly want to tell all you girls who attended how much I adored spending this time with you. I LOVE you all...no 'buts' about it. :)

For those of you in my area, (you know who you are, my Homies!), here is the official flyer for our annual women's retreat taking place March 13-14th in Pigeon Forge, TN.

Blessings,

My church girls are sneaky little varmints.

We planned for a few weeks to do something special for our friend, Farrah , who is having a baby in November. Jenny, our fearless leader put together a surprise shower/dinner out in which we would bring her a stack of baby gifts (Girl gifts no less. So much more fun to buy for!). I've been looking forward to a good GNO for a while now so to say I've been a little excited is an understatement.

After we showered Farrah, Jenny sprang a little surprise I in no wise anticipated. They gave me a PW Appreciation complete with precious cards and gifts. I thought I was there to surprise Farrah. She thought she was there to surprise me. And we both got punk'd but in the totally good way where we walk away with cool stuff.

To my girls: Y'all have no idea how much you blessed me. I've said it over and over - you love your pastor and his family well. The fact that you want to spend time with us outside of the church, the crazy way you love on our kids, that you pray for us and then tell us that you do, the way you provide for all our needs, and especially the way you roll our yard five times are just a few of the ways you put hands to what your heart is feeling. I say that is what your heart feels. I know no other reason you would be so extravagant with us. Thank you doesn't cover it but I say it anyway. And yes, we love you with our whole heart.

In the spirit of Pastor Appreciation month, I would love to hear from both PW's and lay people. PW's: What things are your parishioners doing for you to bless you this month? What has really stood out? Laypeople: Give one another some ideas of ways you are honoring your pastoral staff. How do you know they love you back?

A couple of pics from tonight that do not do justice to how much we laughed.




















Holly, Farrah, Katie, Me, The Girl, and Jenny. Girl was obviously past her bedtime.






















Donna, sweet Bailey, Cheryl, and Debbie. They set the standard of how good, Christian women should act when out in public.

At least that is what they want you to think....hmmmmmm??




















Michealle, Tammy, Deb, Brooke, and Wendy. Can you just see the mischief in their eyes? For those of you who know Brooke, well, let's just say she was game on. Poor baby had a wreck just a couple of hours before we went out which provided for some excellent comedic material. Except, entering the competition now is Michealle. I can't decide who makes my face hurt from laughing the most.


And a fun time was had by all. And no one even complained about my tendency to hug the shoulder of the road while driving the church bus.

Not much anyway.

Thanks again, girls! I love you!

First, a big thank you to Christian Bloggers Unite for featuring my blog this week. If you are visiting for the first time, I hope you find this site to be everything the CBU Team promised in their gracious description. For those of you who hang around here regularly, check out their website. It is full of great resources for the Christian blogger.



On to other news....

We had a fun, full, fall weekend. It will be best if I share it in pictures...

The Girl and I went to her best boy friend R's costume birthday party. Seriously, could she have picked a taller crown? I suppose she chose that one because it matched her royal flip flops. The plastic glass slippers were killing her feet.


Here's Girl, with best buddy, A. (Her mom, Holly, just started a blog. Go see her!) She ditched the crown but not the automatic 'cheese' mode she goes in to when the camera is out.

The Girl and her other 'boyfriend', B. Don't you love this boxer costume? It completely cracked me up.

Uncle Clay and Aunt Tammy with Carter (Deedra's darlin' boy). He picked out his own John Deere gear for the trip. He's smitten with anything green.

I love this picture of Ally and Rachel. Ally is Deb's girl.

The Girl and Eldest. I was so glad he wanted to go with us. I keep waiting for him to boycott all kiddie activities. So far, he's still willing to hang out with his mom. He's such a great kid. Please tell me I won't lose him when he turns 13!
Number Two Boy. We went to the Pumpkin Patch straight from a football game. He had just finished accidentally sticking his entire hand into a rotten pumpkin. I seriously thought he would throw up. Hilarious.

My Number Three.. He looks like he is posing for a football picture. I'm praising the Lord his hair is growing back out after a summer buzz.

The Girl feeding a cow. I was really surprised she would let it get near her. I'm not a huge fan of the bovine but this one was so gentle and sweet-natured.

I can not even express the sheer exhaustion I'm feeling over this weekend but it was SO packed with fun. I love all things Fall and am thoroughly enjoying the season, trees full of toilet paper and all.

What do you enjoy most about this time of year?

As promised, here are a few of our banquet pictures. Our little fellowship building transforms quite attractively but I'm not lying when I say I CAN NOT WAIT until we begin our Life Center. We are totally out of room for partying and that will just not do.

The Buffet set up by our dear friend, Darlene. This girl has got the decorating skillz.

Keena, Wendy, Anita, Farrah, Holly, and Shannon. I don't know if I can keep up with knowing every one's name but so far, I'm 6 for 6!

April - that makes 7.

Pay attention to the girl in the black sweater vest. She is here.

She is here.

She is here. No one can work a room like Jenny. Must be the politics in her DNA.

Beautiful room. Beautiful Girls.

Check out a few more of the tables. I don't think I got a shot of every one's because my camera batteries went dead. Imagine that.




I love fall decorations! Absolutely my favorite. Makes me think it's almost time for...

Christmas!

Love the purple and yellow...

Deedra's mac daddy table. Her pumpkins were my favorite. Again, they were foam. I had no idea such a thing existed or that one could do so many things with them. If I had a creative bone in my body, I would tell you the possibilities are endless. As it is, I can't think of one more thing I would do with them than what these girls already have. Do y'all have any ideas?

More fall...I'm loving the orange in Cindy's table. Her dishes were completely awesome and somehow I didn't get a picture of them. They were orange with white stripes across them. So cool.

That's our shindig for this year! What kinds of things do you girls do for your women's events? I always love some fresh ideas....

Y'all, I'm so excited. I got to call 911 this weekend.

Don't worry. There were no injuries except to my ego after my beloved Dawgs lost to Nick Satan Saban. We went to my friend Karri's to watch the big game with a bunch of church people who took much pleasure in rubbing our faces in the fact we lost and St. Richt cussed at half-time.

Oh, yes he did. The quadruple replay on TiVo confirmed it.

We got home semi-late and I accidentally crashed in Son Three's bed after saying his prayers. I woke up about 3 a.m. to the sound of Daisy the Beagle barking her fool head off. I went in the backyard to check on her and thought I saw people in the front lawn of the church.

I ran to look out the bedroom window and saw two figures next to our sign. Being the brave girl I am, I woke Luke up and shoved him out the door to check things out. On his way he told me to call the police because we've had a couple of problems around the church as of late.

So I called, gave the info, and hung up. That's when it hit me.

What if the people messing with the sign were our church friends (some of whom were deacons) putting some obnoxious Go Bama sign out for our benefit Sunday morning? I ran to the phone to cancel the 911 call.

And then thought better of it.

Cause really. How awesome would it be if they ended up scolded by the PoPo (that is Poe as in Edgar Allan - not the other) to get them back for messing with us? And it's not every church member who can say they their preacher's wife called the cops on them.

And did I mention I wasn't always a preacher's wife? Let's say the mischievous streak still shows up from time to time.

About then, Luke came back in the house and I could not wait for him to tell me the cops had busted a deacon or two. Turns out, it wasn't the deacons.

It was two dudes on horseback.

Seriously. Where do I live?

I tried so hard to wrap this up in a pretty little bow with some witty one-liner about why two dudes would be on horseback at 3 am on the front lawn of a church but it escapes me.

At least anything appropriate escapes me. There's still the issue of the cowboy movie set on a mountain of broken back that I can't quite get out of my head.

And heavens no I didn't watch it.


Oh goodness. This post took a terrible turn.

Tomorrow I'll try to post something Jesus might be proud of...

UPDATE: CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE WE DIDN'T EVEN PLACE IN THE CONTEST? I'm not sure how offended I am or if I should just be glad we didn't place worst of the best. I really don't want to know if we were 4th. Best of the worst doesn't sound so great either.

Wendy, I smell foul play.

I'm going to go pout now.

I know y'all have been refreshing my page all day today 'cause you just couldn't wait to see what the Homecoming Door looked like. Behold, the work of art.

What can not be done justice in the photo is the shiny brilliance of the gold glitter. It was an inspired move on my part even if I do say so myself. Luke agreed it looked fab even if he does look like Liberace on steroids. I personally think our guy is a rockstar.

Full view. My friend Wendy is the mastermind behind the door. She took pictures of all the kids in class with scared faces. The text says, "Did someone say Tigers? Never fear, The Hornets are here!" The expressions of the kids are downright hilarious.

The Girl couldn't wait until Friday to wear her Homecoming get-up. Just realized I went through the trouble of blacking out our town name and yet told you who our mascot is. Oh well. I figure if y'all want to know where I live you've figured it out by now.

The Girl in front of her door. She is so proud that her daddy (YES MY DADDY DID THAT AND HE EVEN HELPED WITH THE GLITTER!) drew the picture.

And I am too. Thanks for bailing me out, honey.

Again.

On Friday, the elementary will be having a wagon parade (think Radio Flyer) which thankfully, I'm not in charge of making. The classes pull their wagon down the hallway and are judged at the end.

What do you girls do during Homecoming? Do you have any cute ideas to tell us about? I need to stock up for next year but I'm thinking there are many of you who may need some themes for your own class projects. Share away!

UPDATE: Oh, how I love my church. You turned out and filled not one but several cars with food to serve tornado victims and relief workers. THANK YOU! If you weren't able to help this time, be assured there will be plenty more opportunities in the days and weeks to come. More info at church tomorrow!


This is an announcement for our community churches and any individual who would like to help.
(I'm assuming you'll know if you are in my community :)

The Operations Center responsible for feeding work crews and families after the tragic tornadoes here have just requested help with dinner tomorrow - Saturday. There is plenty of meat but the center needs side dishes and desserts. If you can help, please prepare your dishes and deliver them to our church Fellowship Hall by 9:30 a.m. Make sure it is in a container that does not have to be returned. We will deliver the food in one vehicle to prevent unnecessary traffic into the area. Leave me a note or call if you have any questions. Also, please call anyone you can think of to get the word out...

For those of you elsewhere, please keep the families who have experienced so much loss in your prayers. For more information on the devastation that struck way too close to home (less than 5 miles as the crow flies), go here.

Thank you!