My Girl came home from school today with an important announcement:

"CRIMSON (her bff) TAUGHT ME TO TIE MY SHOES, MOMMY!" {And yes, she told me in all caps.}

Why is it my first reaction was to feel like a loser mom because another Kindergartener taught my child to tie shoes? Geesh. Do we women ever exhaust our list of insecurities?

I got over my brief session of self-degradation and told her what a wonderfully brilliant child she was to have learned such a complicated thing. And with that, the tying commenced. She pulled out every laced shoe in the house and proceeded to demonstrate.

What I didn't anticipate is that The Girl had taken her tying skillz to the next level. I'm talking Masters Degree here with a few hours towards her Doctorate. Not only can she flat out make a bunny-eared bow, she can Triple Tie. Ask me how I know? It took me 20 minutes to get them undone so I could get my shoes on this morning. I would have taken a picture for you but then that would require my finding a camera, putting batteries in it, snapping the picture and uploading it all so you could see a hot mess of a knot. So visualize with me, will you?


But, the tying didn't end there. Do you ever have those days of recurring themes? Get a load of this. While The Girl was tying shoes, she informed me that she also TIED for class favorites with who else, her bff Crimson. She was so excited that they got to share the honor. I asked her if she voted for herself or Crimson and she acted like I was the devil for even entertaining the thought. She said, "Mommy, who would ever vote for their selfs anyway?"

Ummmm. I don't know? I can't imagine anyone ever doing such a horrible thing.

*cough*

What's more, while she and I were having this conversation, the phone rang. Want to know who was calling? My son's bff: TY.

IS THAT NOT JUST PLAIN FREAKY?

I would tell you I'm going to put on my tye-dyed shirt and do some TaiBo but that would be a lie.

But lie rhymes with tie.

It's SO time for me to say goodbye.

(You're Welcome)

So yesterday The Girl got out of bed complaining with a sore throat. It's been an all around rough week for her - she's just been much more tired and cranky than usual. Being the Mother of the Year I am, I told that sweet baby to climb back in bed so I could shower her with a day of pettin'.

In between bouts of studying for my retreat this weekend, I cooked breakfast and took it to The Girl on a bed tray. I kept her dvd's switched out and generally made sure she had a restful day. I've missed that stinker since she has left me for Kindergarten. It was fabulous having her back if only for a few hours.

Newsflash: Kindergarten isn't what it used to be.

Teacher sent home the work Sis missed in class for one day. There were 8 front and back pages. EIGHT!? And before anyone mistakenly thinks I'm slamming the greatest Kinder teacher ever, I totally know it's the system that has changed, not the darlin' women who have committed their lives to rooms full of 5 and 6 year olds. May the Lord bless and keep everyone of them, may His face shine upon them, and Lord have mercy may He grant them peace.

Seriously, though. What happened to those little padded nap mats? Finger paint? Being able to graduate knowing nothing more than your ABC's? Something has gone awry, girls. Don't misunderstand me. I don't want my kids to be ignorant but I'm not convinced overwhelming them as babies is producing the desired effect.

Case in point: I knew Sis had enough when she started banging her head on the table crying, "I can't take all the coloring. I just can't take all the coloring!" It just so happened I was finishing up my listener guides for the retreat this weekend and had somehow messed up the formatting so that my cute little border was cut off at the bottom so I joined her in the self-mutilation. I finally decided I could live with less than perfection. (Not to mention my head hurt.) I also decided that, no thank you very much, I'm not making this child do all those sheets in one night. So she closed her folder, I closed MS Word and we were both the happier for it.

I guess it was just a little funny that after all the homework distress she went to her room and colored a giant picture of Tinkerbell. When I asked her why in the world she was coloring when she couldn't take one more second of the homework, she said, "I only color what is fun."

That's my girl.

Well, we survived Sleepover 2008.

Oh, I know I've teased about hard it would be but these girls have been a delight. We have had an absolute blast. This picture of The Girl should give you just a little taste of the pinkness that went on in the playroom last night. (I have more pictures of all the girls that I will post if I get the parents' permission!)

And by the way, did y'all know that polo shirts under ball gowns are all the rage this season?

The boys came in from the football game last night and stared into the playroom for a good long minute. After the shock wore off, they said, "The Man Cave has been infected!!"

They plan a large scale fumigation this afternoon.

Hopefully that will take place during my large scale nap.

And yes, I want to ask y'all a question!!

Every year I stress over what to do for my kids' birthdays. I love looking online to see get party ideas. How about we have a party carnival where you girls can post your ideas or even link to your previous party posts (say that 5 times fast) so we can share each in one another's brilliance? I'm thinking we could note age and gender in the link making it easier to scroll through to see what applies to our own families.

What do you say? Will you play?

If y'all seem interested I'll fab up a button and set a date.

I love fun stuff!

p.s. Have y'all noticed I've posted THREE TIMES in two days? I KNOW.

I've been dying to use that for a post title.

Even though I am no fan of Vanessa Hudgens and the idea of dancing in the street with glow-in-the-dark sneakers is a little cheezy, you've got to admit that her token Disney diva song can be quite catchy in an annoying why-am-i-singing-this-instead-of-Amazing-Grace kind of way. And if you don't watch Disney 24/7 like we do, you have no idea what I'm talking about. You're the better woman for it.

Trust me.

So, we are getting ready for The Girl's Slumber Party where there will be dancing and all manner of make-upping, hair-fixing, and manicuring. And lots of Barbie-playing. Oh yes, there have been frantic preparations going on around here.

The first order of business was to get Barbie's house cleaned. You may be thinking, "Well, how hard could that be?" Some of you Twittered with me about that but I need for y'all to understand we aren't just talking about any little Barbie house. Yes, she may have smaller homes dotted across the country but her Alabama estate is located in my playroom.


I'm so upset because the camera is taking fuzzy pictures. I can't figure it out for the life of me but maybe this is enough to give you a visual of the monstrosity that is Barbie's mansion. Apparently, some things have been going on in the house which I would not approve of considering the fact living room furniture was in the bathroom and the commode was in the kitchen.

That Barbie is such a slob.

I also found Ken with his arm broken off in the laundry room. I can only imagine he acted inappropriately towards Barbie so her dad and three brothers took matters into their own hands.

A foreshadowing of what will happen should any boy get within three feet of The Girl.

Ken says to consider yourself warned.

The Girl and I removed all the furniture and mopped the floors. It's pathetic that Barbie's house is cleaner than mine.


And since we are showing off The Crib, it's only fitting we reveal what Barbie has in the garage. Two identical VW's - one for each color outfit Barbie may be wearing that day. And of course we have a Jeep for when Barbie needs to indulge her inner Sarah Palin.

I've seriously got to get off the computer to get ready for the party. Shout a prayer for me tonight! But hey, I have an idea for a birthday party blog carnival. I'll tell you about it soon!

L8R!

Lisa

This weekend I traveled to Pigeon Forge to teach a retreat entitled "Sarah: A Woman out of Control." (I may have mentioned it a time or three). While I was preparing the material, God opened my eyes to many things but perhaps the thing most relevant personally was trusting that God's will where I am concerned will be accomplished even in the face of human impossibility. There are promises God has made towards me, but I am the world's worst at trying to finagle the details to make sure what I believe He desires has the opportunity to come about.

Because we all know God needs help in working all things together for good, don't we? Let's say I'm convinced God has led me to apply for a job or seek a ministry position. Don't you think I'm doing God a favor by emailing and following up continually? Really, what if the person forgets me and ends up messing up His calling on my life? And then there is always the hubby. Won't God appreciate the rest if I play the Holy Spirit and manipulate him into being a more godly man instead of making God take the time to mold him Himself?

Girls, the one who neither slumbers nor sleeps is not lax where your details are concerned. If He wants you to have that job, it won't be given to another. And if He wants your hubby to step it up, a pounding heart will gain much more than a pounding head. Give God the opportunity to work on your behalf! In my experience, He's not very fond of splitting glory.

Oh well, I didn't mean to go off on a tangent. Let me show you some pictures!

This is my Mom-In-Law, Frankie, and My Friend Kaye. I can't just call Kaye by her given name. It must be preceded by My Friend or it just isn't the same. All of you should aspire to be a friend to these two girls. They plan these retreats twice a year as a way to bless their churches and girlfriends. There is such a diverse group there every time and I can't tell you how much I look forward to my times with them. And, it would be enough for them just to go through the trouble of coordinating the travel arrangements but THEY COOK. And we aren't talking cafeteria food, honey. Just let the words Paula Deen, mac-n-cheese, pinto beans, meatloaf, chicken casserole, biscuits and gravy, homemade chocolate cake, etc. etc. float around in your mind and then you'll have some small idea of the smorgasboard we girls are treated to for mealtimes.

What? Did I hear you say you want to be on Frankie and Kaye's friend list? They would be delighted. :)

Christy, Melanie, Mary Lynn, and Jerri. I'm praising God for some promises He's fulfilled for Melanie. Her DIL Christy is a hoot! Mary Lynn and Jerri co-organized the weekend and worked tirelessly in the kitchen with Frankie and Kaye. Y'all, I can not say enough about the deliciousness of the buffet they prepared or how much I know we all appreciate how hard they worked to make sure the girls enjoyed our weekend.

Ellen and Margaret. Margaret is going on a cruise in October that follows Paul's missionary journeys. I'm so jealous happy for her I could die.

Christy and Judy. Both of them sweethearts! I wish I had pictures of every woman there but my picture taking abilities are limited. Please know I'm crazy about every one of you!



I already mentioned that My Girl turned 6 over the weekend. Her aunt Laura Beth brought her this Princess balloon and I swear you would have thought she'd given her a pair of rhinestone flip flops. Mostly, I think she loved it so much because of who gave it to her. The Girl loves her auntie.

Here's a shot of part of the group. I had so many pictures of individuals and dern if they aren't mostly blurry. This was such a fun group of women. I knew about half of them and the others I fell in love with instantly. Oh yes, notice how high the ceiling peak is. You'll need to refer back in a moment.



The pretty tables. The goody bags had some awesome loot inside.

Okay, now here's where I get to tell you about Laura Beth's Balloon Retrieval Skillz. Remember how I told you The Girl was bonkers over the balloon?

Well, she accidentally let it go.

She was sobbing.

Right as it was time for me to teach.

Now obviously I couldn't run down to the store and get her another and y'all, these ceilings were crazy high. Thankfully, crazy tall Laura Beth came to the rescue.

She couldn't bear seeing The Girl so brokenhearted so, get this, she STACKED TWO CHAIRS ON A TABLE TOP and tried to reach the balloon string.

She wasn't tall enough but there was no limit to her crazy so she decided to hold The Girl up, ON TOP OF THE TWO STACKED CHAIRS ON A TABLE TOP, to see if she could reach it. By this time, it was either have a heart attack or take pictures.

I chose the pictures.

When we realized that the toddler on top of the auntie on top of the two chairs on top of the table wasn't going to do the trick, one of the ladies dug through the kitchen drawers and found barbecue tongs. I don't think it occured to any of us to take The Girl out of Laura Beth's arms so she could snap at the balloon string.

Laura Beth got the balloon, saved the day, and The Girl was smiling once again.

You rock, LB!!

Here's The Girl with her Grandmama (Laura Beth's and Luke's mom). I love this picture of them!

And this is probably my favorite picture of the retreat. The Girl was clearly not interested in hearing anything her mother had to say during the sessions. In fact she said, "Mom, is there something I can do while you are talking because I know it is going to be really boring."

There's a referral I'll put on my bio.

Otherwise, she was such a total angel for all four gatherings and of course, everyone there just babied her to death. It swelled my heart for our first Mommy/Girl getaway to be centered around The Word. I just look forward to the day when she'll pretend she's listening to me instead of Purble's Place and Barbie.com on the headphones.

I still have more pictures of The Birthday but this post is already as long as my arm. I'll spare you until tomorrow!

Just suppose my 5-year-old daughter's name is Sally Jane and then imagine my utter disbelief at hearing her introduce herself to another little girl at the ballfield last night when she didn't think I was listening:

SJ: Hi. My name is Sally. What is your name?

Other girl: Emma.

SJ: Well, my name is Sally. My nickname is Jane. And if you are wondering what color my hair is? *Hair swish* It's blonde but actually it looks more like honey.


Oh.

My.

Gosh?


Surprisingly, precious Emma was non-plussed by Miss Honey Hair but give it a few years and I'm scared to death that little display will be met with a YouTubed whoopin'.

If her mom and dad don't get to her first.

And can I just ask you? Are little girls prissier than they ever used to be or am I just now noticing since I've been busy raising three boys?

I don't know how you moms of toddlers feel about Yo Gabba Gabba. I'm personally a little intrigued with DJ Lance. He's like a Raj throwback from the days of 'What's Happening'.

However, something about this show brings out the inner beast in The Girl. She gets the Pavlov Dog reaction everytime it comes on that, for lack of better words, freaks me out. The Girl normally watches her morning shows with wonder and delight, but here's what I heard this morning when DJ Lance introduced himself as 'Your Friend':

"I am NOT your friend you stinkin' weirdo. Get a new outfit!"
(Don't you love how she went straight for the fashion jugular?)

And when he dared introduce the Dancy Dance:

"You think YOU know how to Dancy Dance like crazy? I'll show you crazy!"


I'll show you crazy, indeed.

Tomorrow we are totally back to Wonder Pets.